back in your head.

from now on, i'm back on lj, i never keep with a commitment.

first monday of november and listening to the twilight soundtrack. i am so excited for that movie. if you told me three years ago that the book i was currently reading was going to turn into a world wide phenomenon and future movie i probably would have laughed at you. midnight premiere hopefully!!

this past week has been the best. surprises galore and only more to come. i've made every single person i've surprised cry already. it's nice to be with old friends again...the ones that stick around. right now i couldnt be more content or happy. i feel like i have everything i ever wanted even though nothing has changed. i have no direction in life and i have never felt happier.

the next few weeks are full of more excitement: the city tomorrow, best friend comes home for the weekend, wifey, spies show, city on tuesday with sabo and mikito, ROBERT PATTINSON AKA LOVE OF MY LIFE, drunk at hipster cult mainia, twilight midnight premiere, shitshow with brett for thanksgiving, then off to texASS and flowridahhh? for a few weeks, DISNEYYYWORLDDDD!?!

i'm done. i want this to all end and for everything to be done with.
tonight i am booking my flight for manila. there's not turning back now. june 25th i leave for san francisco with eliza then on the week of july 6th, i leave for the philippines until december/january from the west coast. i'm fed up with all and i'd rather get a quick escape than remain here. i did a lot of thinking and there are probably only six people that i want to stay in my life. everyone else can decide to leave, chose to stray, and i'm fine with that, but as long as i have these six people, i'll be okay.


i am going to compute a list of things to do before june 25th.

A/
to top the fact off that i have zero dinero,
my dad is petitioning to cut off child support.
meaning i have no money for college anymore.
meaning i may have to stay longer in the philippines than expected.
meaning i'm basically fucked.
my family wants me to study pre-med. they're clearly on crack.
i don't know what i'm going to be doing or where i will be by next year.
this has turned into disaster.
that scares me.


B/
i'm finally starting to realize how modesty isn't getting the full respect it deserves these days.
more than happy to be leaving for a good while in all honesty.
more than ever ready to start over, so cliche so true.